Being the parent of a teenager, a phenomenon I never imagined I would ever attain by the way, presents some challenging crimes of fashion along with my own perception of now being a person of some ancient generation. When I was in school, the emphasis was solely on tempering the hormones of teenage girls; yep, that would have been me, and the school administrators ordering us to lengthen our micro mini skirts, expand the material on those belly shirts and an across the board ban, no matter what the season or how hot the weather, on Daisy Mae shorts. Now somehow the attention has shifted to the boys.
It is the pants they wear; the ones cinched to mid thigh position so that their walk is more like a penguin shuffle and their underwear has more exposure than baby diapers at the local beach club. To bring even more “exposure” are the new laws right here in South Florida measuring the degree of impropriety in mere inches or perhaps now just a legal and perplexing conundrum. Voters in excess of 70% opted to get the men and boys to pick up their pants either by perfecting a tighter fit, using a belt, trying a pair of suspenders or any make shift rope, twine, braid or expanded shoelace to hide the private parts pants were originally intended to hide. In other words, can we bring back some propriety to our schools and sidewalks using governmental power?
Based on measurements, police officers arrested a 29 year old man in Riviera Beach for exposure of undergarments in public, slung lower than 2 inches. The first offense is punishable by a fine of $150.00 and a second offense can even carry a 30 day jail sentence. I wonder if the one piece jumpsuit issued for jail are baggy? The custom of baggy pants originated from African culture and has become an exaggerated street fashion, but the impracticality really does make me yearn for my generation when pants used to fit and instead of using a thumb in a belt loop to keep the entire panorama of skivvies out of view, there would be khakis, board shorts, fitted jeans with the cute male behinds we ladies so used to admire.
Well, the fashion rebellion continues, and though I thankfully see less and less of the capacious cargoes, did it not take forever to get rid of rock ‘n’ roll, crew cuts, beehives, and thong bikinis? We did not need government intervention in the good old generation of the 1980’s either, but it makes me wonder how long I would have been in jail for wearing short shorts and those wicked high heels.